Summary of " the Riddle of Experience vs. Memory"

In the talk given by Daniel Kahneman, the speaker mainlly talked about several cognitive traps which made it impossible for people to think clearly about happiness.

The first trap is the reluctance to accept complexity. The world "happiness" is no longer a useful word because we apply it to different kinds of things.
The second trap is about the difficulty of understanding the two concepts: experience and memory; they are both mixed in the notion of " happiness".
The third trap is the focusing illusion. Only by distorting the importance of  feeling happy, we can think about some circumstances which affect the feeling of being happy.

There are two selfs--experiencing self, who lives in the present and remembering self, who is the one that keeps score, and maintain the story of our life.

The speaker gave us an example of two patients A and B who did colonoscopy, and it tells us that there are actually two selfs.

Another example about one week vacation and two week vacations shows that for experiencing self two weeks are twice as good as one week; however, the remembering self is not about time if there is no change, so the two selfs are quite different from each other.

Also, happiness is about spending time with people that we like, and it is a different notion from "well-being".

Finally, we can't think happiness clearly also because we need to think of contrast about the answer we want.

2001 A Space Odyssey ( 49mins)

Before we watch the movie, I learned that " MCMLXVIII" means 1968, which I found really interesting, like a special code. There is no dialogue in the first 20 minutes, and it is similar to the movie "the Tree of Life", which I watched a few days ago. The gorillas show the " the Dawn of Man", which means the beginning of humanity. It teaches us the vulnerability of some kind of animals. There are also motifs in it. For example, animal dies, man starts to use tool. There is also perspectives in the beginning of the movie. I think the scene that there is judo on the television and the woman bows to the passenger shows a better manner of mankind, and we can feel it easily since it is totally different from what gorillas do. The rocket also reminds us of the scenes of  bones and pens at the beginning, which is also a motif of the movie.

I liked the music in the movie although it's a bit scary; I think it's another motif and leads us think the reason why they play this music in the movie and how it is related to the theme of the movie.

Personal Reaction to Bill Reid Gallery and the story of "Totem",

2 months ago, I went to Museum of Anthropology, but at that time I wasn't interested at all, and got very bored at all the sculptures and canoes as I expected to see something with much longer history. I wanted to see things made hundreds or thousands of years ago. But this time, after we read some handouts about First Nations in Canada, it was much more interesting to see similar sculptures about First Nations in Bill Reid Gallery. I learned that totem is a figure made to look like an animal, plant etc. that is believed to have a special relationship with a particular Native American tribe. I liked the stories of the poles, expecially the one about Bear Mother. I was also amazed at how he made the canoes by himself.

The gallery is not big, but very interesting to see. I was surprised at the little, tiny cups made of chalks when Bill Reid was still a child. When I saw the sculpture of what is printed in 20 dollars bill, I was a bit excited. I liked the meaning of it; obviously, there is a conflit in the crowded boat, but they are still staying in the same boat. I am also curious about why they use this picture in the 20 dollars bill.

I think by visiting galleries like this, I can get more interested in history. I think I need to read more books about history and know more about it.

Summary of " a Darwinian Theory of Beauty"

In the presentation of a Darwinian Theory of Beauty, the speaker Denis Dutton talked about the complicated subject beauty.There are different kinds of things which considered beautiful, and the speaker provided the most powerful theory of beauty which comes from Charles Darwin. People may think that beauty depends on the eye of the beholder. Although there are many different kinds of art in the world, they all share something in common. By reconstructing a Darwinian evolution theory, we can explain this commonality.  The speaker believes that the experience of beauty with its emotional intensity and joy, belongs to gradually developed human psychology. The experience of beauty is one component of Darwinian adaptions. There are two main important parts in evolution--natural selection and sexual selection, and they play very different roles.  Neither natural beauty nor artistic beauty is cultural. In our aesthetic desires, we find beauty in something done with a good skill. So beauty is not in the eye of people who look at it, but embedded in our mind, created by our ancestors and last as long as humanity continues.

Weekend Blog Post (July 23th) ----Meditation :)

The morning sun slanted through the blinds, and woke me up from a very relaxing sleep. I opened my eyes, and stared out the lone window; morning had come, which meant I had to get ready for any chances of unpleasant moments. “Will I get to be okay again just like what I was a few years ago—a happy and very optimistic girl? Or is this going to hang over me for the rest of my life?” I liked the scent of the soft pillow, and I was afraid of anything that might break the pleasant time.

However, I feel grateful that I am in Canada now, and have time to record my feelings like this. I enjoy writing what I am really feeling to record my life. I have very few albums to remind me of the old days as I don’t like the fact that people always have to smile when facing a camera, and that’s not real. I wanted to write anything that I am truly feeling without hiding anything for fear that it might disappoint others.

I think I had been too impassive since last year; I didn’t want anyone to talk to me, and I envied others’ smiles even. Water must freeze the moment it touched me. I didn’t seem to have any emotions for the whole year. Although I wished I could have family with me, I didn’t even go home for that whole summer. I spent most of the time working part time at a cash register, looking at the clock, and hoping time could pass more quickly. Finally, God awarded me by letting my little wish come true. I feel relieved that I am now in another country. I have more chances to learn to accept or even love the world.

I am making great progress. When I am walking in the green grass, I would like to sit down for a short meditation and I like the green color—looks energetic and full of hope. The sun shines through the thick light green leaves, and casts different shapes of light on the top of dark green grass as if there are a lot of candles making light of my discomfort. When I am walking on the roads paved with concrete, I can feel the heat under my feet; I appreciate that I have the ability to walk. When I am in the gardens, enjoying the peaceful water and listening to birds singing, I feel like smiling and I am grateful that I feel alive, and happy; I know life is not all about ordeals, and sometimes there are still some pleasant times.

There used to be totally no way I could possibly think that there was any meaning in life for me to live on, but now I am getting much stronger than before, and I have the courage to walk down a long distance as there are always green trees to bring me hope.

Weekend post ( 17th July)

After some hard time, I thought it could be a good day today. I never crave happy times like others do. For me, it’s easy to be happy, yet extremely difficult. This morning, after I got up, I felt that I’d rested quite well, and I thought today I could write some positive things on the blog again; I was happy at that time.

However, I know I don’t deserve any happiness or even just a peaceful moment; I thought it ironic though because I know I’ve already been doing my best. I can write some details here in order to let my readers know why I am feeling this way. It is all about brain chemistry; I don’t care if people like to call it “mental disorder”.

Unlike other young people, I don’t like to celebrate birthdays. As I was told before, a long time ago, “everything will get better naturally when you grow up”, and I believed that at that time when I was 16. Very soon my 21-year-old birthday will come, and I feel disappointed. I remember in the past few years, I used to make a wish on every New Year’s Day and birthday as well. I clearly remember that on New Year’s Day this year I did my part time job as usual, and I paid a visit to a shrine that night as a traditional Japanese custom. When everyone else was cheering for the coming year, tears started to sting the backs of my eyes. Although I knew crying might have seemed childish, but that didn’t stop tears from getting out. I always feel that no one in this world can truly understand me even if they are kind enough to get to know me.

Until June 2008, I used to think that even if I feel pain now, I can still think of the happy times I had when I was younger, and live on with the memories. However, a certain therapy made my precious, beautiful memories so dim, and so far away.

I am getting 21 years old, and it seems that there are only a few years that I can clearly remember and these are all the times which I have been suffering. Recently, I felt that I had more happy times than before, and I was feeling hopeful even. Sometimes, it didn’t seem like anything was overly important, or frightening when I was feeling happy with the green trees and colourful flowers in the gardens; however, it made me hate myself more than before. I don't seem to get any better although I sometimes do think I am much better only when I am feeling Okay.

Every time when I am suffering from the brain chemistry, I feel like the whole world is like a big balloon that is losing air in an extremely high speed. But I promised that I won’t die that easily although it needs a lot of courage to live on.

I need to take a deep breath, and then exhale slowly. I remember someone said that people don’t get to choose what life gives to them; they do get to choose how they respond.

Weekend blog post( assignment)

I went to a beach after class with the CAs, and I enjoyed the whole afternoon.

On the way to the beach, I took a nap on the bus while others were talking; I found myself not very talkative at that time, and all I wanted to do was just to assure myself that it was me that enjoyed today. I could hardly believe that I could also have some happy moments. Although I still had some difficult times, I felt it easier to overcome and more hopeful; remembering that although I saw some black birds at noon, today I thought they looked somewhat majestic, and had less meaning of bad luck.

When we arrived at the beach, I said, " I like the weather; it's so nice today!" I knew some people there felt a bit unusual that I looked happy today. I went close to the water, and walked into the tiny waves; everything looked so cute and nice today. There were different shapes of small stones in the sand: purple, light green, grey, and white. I felt grateful but nervous. I knew it might come a big wave, and swallow me again and everything colorful. For some reason, I wished I hadn't felt so happy.

I looked at the huge sea with a shaky smile and a promise, "I am going to be brave and face all the difficulties in a good way; Life is only once, and I have to get better."

I walked back to people sitting on the beach far away. The sand was so hot, and my feet were burning-nothing could make me feel any more alive.

Today-a positive thinking:)

It was a warm day; I liked the beautiful weather. I was glad that I was able to enjoy some time of the day and I think I felt happy. However, it's hard to stay relaxed for me. I appreciate every peaceful moment and feel grateful for every single smile that I could truly have.

Not too long time ago, there was almost no way I could passibly think that I could still feel some happy moments in my life; it looked like I was the girl who was going to experience all the difficult things--and none of them pleasant. I thought I had to erase the word "happiness" from my vocabulary; however, I didn't really want to. I craved happiness the way I craved chocolate; It was a fact of my life that I needed chocolate to survive.

Luckily, here, I have been doing much better than I thought. Today I wasn't feeling too bad. However, I know every happiness is only temporary and fragile--like the bubble. I wish I could be frozen at that time; I wanted to keep it a bit longer. I hate the rule of the world that there is no way for me to hold the bubble. I knew after the "best before" of the happiness expired, my nervous level would shoot up like the mercury in a thermometer that was placed in boiling water.

I went out for a walk late this afternoon. I like the smell of the air in Vancouver, and I was thinking that no matter how difficult it is, I am going to walk on. I believe that life won't say no to me unless I say no to life.

Similarities between the 3rd Account of "Genesis" and "Prometheus Bound".

(The article "Prometheus Bound" was too difficult- both the characters and the old-fashioned language.)

Here, I am going to discuss the similarities between the 3rd Account of " Genesis" ( In this post, I am going to use "Gen 3" for "the 3rd Account of "Genesis") and "Prometheus Bound" according to the notes.

First of all, There are both male characters in "Gen3" and "Prometheus Bound". In "Gen 3", he is "God"; in "Prometheus Bound", he is "Zeus". They are both authority figures who don't want to share knowledge or technology with people, and also, they punish the animal or person who helps human. In "Gen 3", God punished the serpent who asked the woman to eat the fruit of the tree that is in the middle if the garden, and after God knew that the woman ate the fruit, he punished the serpent. Similarly, Prometheus got punished by Zeus too.

Another similarity is that in both "Gen 3" and " Prometheus Bound", the role of the serpent can be compared with that of Prometheus; they both help people to gain vital knowledge and skill, but they both are punished.

The last similarity is that in "Gen 3", there are "Adam" and " Eve"; likely, in "Prometheus Bound", there are people. However, on the other hand, Adam and Eve are braver and stronger than people in the latter; they take the fruit and try the things that may be good for them. In contrast, people in " Prometheus Bound" are much weaker and need more help from the others.

To sum up, there are three main similarities between these characters discussed above: God and Zeus, the serpent and Prometheus, Adam&Eve and people. I think both are interesting to read, but I prefer "Gen 3".

the Differences Between 1st Account and 2nd Account.

In this post, I am going to discuss the differences between the 1st account and the 2nd account in these five points: God, means of creation, forethought, time, and sequence of events.

First of all, a major difference between the two accounts is about God; it is God in the 1st account; however, it is Lord God in the 2nd account. I looked it up on the Internet and tried to find out why there were God and  Lord God in the Bible.  When "God" is used, it is usually a rendering of the general Hebrew word for God, "Elohim." When "LORD GOD" or "Lord GOD" occurs, it is usually a rendering of a dual name for God "Adonai YHWH." ( from http://www.gotquestions.org/LORD-GOD-Lord-God.html)

Second, the means of creation is also different because in the 1st account, God created everything by speaking. In comparison, in the 2nd account, Lord God "breathes", "forms", "takes", "builds" and also "plants". In my opinion, in the 1st account, it seems that God has more power than Lord God in the 2nd account.

Third, the 1st account has a lot of forethought such as the 1st day created light; the 2nd day created sky; the 3rd day created sea and dry land; the 4th day created sun, moon and stars; the 5th day created fish and birds; the 6th day created animals and people. However, in the 2nd account, there isn't such forethought; instead, it seems that there is only improvisation throughout the whole account.

The next difference is the time used for the creation. God used 6 days in the 1st account; in contrast, Lord God only used 1 day. This also shows that there is enough forethought in the 1st account, but just improvisation in the 2nd account.

Finally, the last difference is the sequence of events. In the 1st account, God created vegetation earlier than people, but in the 2nd account, Lord God created man first, then vegetation, and at last Lord God created animals and woman. I think the 2nd account shows a predominance of men over women.

To sum up, there are mainly five differences discussed above. I like the first account better because I think creation is a serious thing and there should be lots of forethought.

Languages and identities.

 While talking to my friends, I noticed something interesting about the time I need to switch languages during a conversation. I used to try to figure out which language I use when I am thinking, but I never got the answer because all these happen only when I am thinking subconsciously. Whenever I try to figure out in which language I am thinking about daily things, I will subconsciously switch to a certain language or my dialect( I speak a dialect which is very different from Madarin), and then think everything in it, so it's hard for me get the answer I want. However, when I was talking to people from different countries yesterday, I noticed some interesting differences of the time I need to switch languages, and here is a chart.
Madarin  ---- Japanese     ( before): 0.1 second      (now): 0.5 second
English      ---- Japanese       ( before):    0.1seconds      (now): 3 second
Japanese   ---- English        (before):    5seconds      (now):  0.5 second
Dialect      ---- Madarin                    0.1 second     
English or Japanese     ----- Madarin/ dialect        0.1 second
                                          (the figures are not exact time, but can be calculated to proportion)         
                                                       
I found it interesting because it shows that it is always easy to speak our first language at any time when needed; however, second or third languages sometimes get confused when either of them has been used more frequently than the other, and also it has nothing to do with how well we can use it, but depends on how frequently we use it.  However, sometimes it can be difficult to realize the sign" Now it's time to switch languages!". Remembering last week when I got out of the Japanese dental clinic, someone( Canadian I think) was pushing the button of the elevator to let me get in, I bowed and even said "Sumimasen." instead of " Thank you( or sorry)".

Another interesting thing I found is that dialect is the easiest language to speak. Although it is just spoken by  local people in the small city and some of the words even can't be written, it is still a valuable language for me. I can speak it 10 times faster than English and every time when I speaking very fast in dialect, people laugh a lot.

I remember I was asked that which language I feel most comfortable to speak a few days ago, and I said they are all the same. Actually, there are quite a few different feelings when using different languages. The most obvious thing is the "identity". When I am using dialect with the locals, I feel that I am still a small girl close to the Yangzi River, and the smell of  my hometown is so familiar. When I am talking in Madarin, it is different; as it is the official language in China, I feel that we are from diffirent places but share something in common because we are all Chinese. However, people in China speak Madarin with quite different accents, which is a reason why I feel a bit tired talking too long in Madarin. 
When I was in elementary school and junior high school in my city, Madarin was the language used only in class. But I have been using Madarin a lot more after I went to a different city and foreign countries.

Japanese is a third language for me but much more fluent than my second language English. When I am talking in Japanese, I subconsciously nod a lot and bow. Strangely enough, I don't think I am a foreigner when talking to Japanese people. Sometimes I think I even belong to the culture, which troubles me a lot when I am trying to decide my job career. However, I am a foreigner because I have to worry about the visa after I graduate from the university.

When I am speaking English, I feel that I really like it and enjoy using it; it's exciting to make progress. I think I can be more honest in English because of its culture. As in Asian culture (at least China and Japan), people tend to hide most of the real feelings, and try to be "nice" to others, which sometimes makes things more complicated.  Also, in Japanese, we should use a special honorific when talking to people older than us, but in English we don't need to do it. This is one of the most important reasons why I like English; it can bring people closer, but not make people act like strangers all the time.

After all, I like all the three languages and my dialect, and I think people have different identities when using different languages; however, it is based on the premise when we are thinking in this language, but not trying to translate the ideas and sentences.