Languages and identities.

 While talking to my friends, I noticed something interesting about the time I need to switch languages during a conversation. I used to try to figure out which language I use when I am thinking, but I never got the answer because all these happen only when I am thinking subconsciously. Whenever I try to figure out in which language I am thinking about daily things, I will subconsciously switch to a certain language or my dialect( I speak a dialect which is very different from Madarin), and then think everything in it, so it's hard for me get the answer I want. However, when I was talking to people from different countries yesterday, I noticed some interesting differences of the time I need to switch languages, and here is a chart.
Madarin  ---- Japanese     ( before): 0.1 second      (now): 0.5 second
English      ---- Japanese       ( before):    0.1seconds      (now): 3 second
Japanese   ---- English        (before):    5seconds      (now):  0.5 second
Dialect      ---- Madarin                    0.1 second     
English or Japanese     ----- Madarin/ dialect        0.1 second
                                          (the figures are not exact time, but can be calculated to proportion)         
                                                       
I found it interesting because it shows that it is always easy to speak our first language at any time when needed; however, second or third languages sometimes get confused when either of them has been used more frequently than the other, and also it has nothing to do with how well we can use it, but depends on how frequently we use it.  However, sometimes it can be difficult to realize the sign" Now it's time to switch languages!". Remembering last week when I got out of the Japanese dental clinic, someone( Canadian I think) was pushing the button of the elevator to let me get in, I bowed and even said "Sumimasen." instead of " Thank you( or sorry)".

Another interesting thing I found is that dialect is the easiest language to speak. Although it is just spoken by  local people in the small city and some of the words even can't be written, it is still a valuable language for me. I can speak it 10 times faster than English and every time when I speaking very fast in dialect, people laugh a lot.

I remember I was asked that which language I feel most comfortable to speak a few days ago, and I said they are all the same. Actually, there are quite a few different feelings when using different languages. The most obvious thing is the "identity". When I am using dialect with the locals, I feel that I am still a small girl close to the Yangzi River, and the smell of  my hometown is so familiar. When I am talking in Madarin, it is different; as it is the official language in China, I feel that we are from diffirent places but share something in common because we are all Chinese. However, people in China speak Madarin with quite different accents, which is a reason why I feel a bit tired talking too long in Madarin. 
When I was in elementary school and junior high school in my city, Madarin was the language used only in class. But I have been using Madarin a lot more after I went to a different city and foreign countries.

Japanese is a third language for me but much more fluent than my second language English. When I am talking in Japanese, I subconsciously nod a lot and bow. Strangely enough, I don't think I am a foreigner when talking to Japanese people. Sometimes I think I even belong to the culture, which troubles me a lot when I am trying to decide my job career. However, I am a foreigner because I have to worry about the visa after I graduate from the university.

When I am speaking English, I feel that I really like it and enjoy using it; it's exciting to make progress. I think I can be more honest in English because of its culture. As in Asian culture (at least China and Japan), people tend to hide most of the real feelings, and try to be "nice" to others, which sometimes makes things more complicated.  Also, in Japanese, we should use a special honorific when talking to people older than us, but in English we don't need to do it. This is one of the most important reasons why I like English; it can bring people closer, but not make people act like strangers all the time.

After all, I like all the three languages and my dialect, and I think people have different identities when using different languages; however, it is based on the premise when we are thinking in this language, but not trying to translate the ideas and sentences.